The Cattening

The wisdom of old wives holds true
Beware! Beware! The Cattening
Lilith will have hold of you
Before you know it’s happening

You cannot read in kitten’s eyes
Whether she’s from hell or Eden
As vicious as the serpent was
Lilith’s servants do her bidding

It begins with good intentions
Big, beautiful blue eyes
The most delicate of whiskers
What could this kitten hide?

The early days are simple
A purring ball of fur
Some accidental scratches
And life adjustments, sure

And soon your bed is halfway hers
Your clock now reads in cat
A casually placed coffee cup
Will wind up in your lap

High surfaces are hers alone
And she’s fussy with her food
You’d better get her litter right
Or you’ll find your best shoes chewed

Your house is smelling catty
There are claw marks in your table
Cat toys are often underfoot
But she often isn’t playful

You own a queen you realise
She is now your master
You feed her, tend to her demands
And clean up her disasters

What of the payback you deserve?
The undying admiration?
But deference, like a common dog?
Is far below her station

Your attempts to pat her
Are met with hostile hissing
The soft claws of her childhood
Are now painfully missing

You try to do the right thing
Not to declaw or put her down
But the balance sheet is wanting
And you can’t have friends around

The next time that she wakes you
With the dawn, no less
With insistent meowing
For no reason you can guess

You remember back with fondness
When she was a tiny kitten
When your house was still your own
When you were still unbitten

You stand aside to let her pass
But don’t attempt to touch her
You’ve long accepted your position
And accept her as your master.

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